Algunos de mis incertidumbres de actualidad

"Overwhelming" would describe how my life has been recently. Classes, homework, my volunteer job and my work study job all fit so closely together in my schedule nearly all the remaining hours have to be dedicated to whatever sleep I can get just to keep going each day. I keep saying over and over again that I hope God knows what He's doing with all this stuff because I certainly don't.

For example, my signing up to volunteer more hours at an elementary school across town. Last semester one of the many requirements of my Spanish class was to be involved in a service project to the Hispanic community and so I ended up in a volunteer program reading Spanish books with a couple of kindergartners. For various reasons I decided to drop the second semester of that Spanish class and had no logical reason to agree to continue volunteering. But I had the time slot open. There was no great reason why not to continue with it either. And so I agreed to help out at the same times.

Over winter break I got an email from my supervisor asking if it would be possible for me to add a third reading session before my other two. "I hope God knows what He's doing with this because I don't," was my thought as I replied with a simple "I can do that."

So now I walk the eight or so blocks to the school every Tuesday morning and spend time with three amazing and bright kids who don't care if my Spanish is less than perfect as long as the books we read together have cool pictures. This semester has been pretty exciting so far with them too, because these kids are now able to sound out the words and read some of the books for themselves. It is so cool to watch how they've all progressed!

The reason I struggle a bit with this work is that for nearly all my life people have told me I ought to be a teacher and equally often I have insisted that I do not want to be a teacher. So why am I working in an elementary school? I still don't want to be a teacher. I'm not opposed to helping people, I just agreed to help someone with math tomorrow and I can enjoy that sort of thing and I know I'm good at it. I just really don't want to be a teacher and I can't understand exactly what has led me to work at this school.

As a result, not only have I had an abundance of work to keep me busy but my mind has been occupied with all sorts of confused thoughts and prayers, this situation being but one example, and I've got really nothing to do but keep plodding through it all while waiting to see what God makes of it.